When Frank Zappa was auditioning guitarists, a young, inexperienced Steve Vai rocked up. He could barely muster stubble at this stage, while Zappa was
well-established as the moustachioed maestro, making the audition akin to a high school student taking a few conical flasks over to Nikola Tesla’s
lair and asking for a job. Nevertheless, Vai had the skills to impress. “He’d play something, and he’d say, ‘Play that’, and I’d play.“ Vai recalled.
“Then he says, ‘Now, play it in ⅞’. So I play it in ⅞. He says, ‘Now play it in reggae ⅞”.
This continued for some time, with Vai seemingly passing all the early tests with aplomb. But Zappa wasn’t finished yet. “He said, ‘Okay, add this
note’. And it was impossible. It was physically impossible, not just for me but for anybody,“ Vai continued. “I said, ‘I can’t do that,’ and he said,
‘Well, I hear Linda Ronstadt is looking for a guitar player‘”. Crestfallen, the young guitarist began to trudge to the door before a deadpan Zappa
revealed he was joking and Vai had secured himself a job.
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