The furniture store keeps calling me, asking me to come back. But all I wanted was that one night stand.

Why did the peperoni get released from the hospital?


It was cured...

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!"

In Hawaii do they allow loud laughing or just a low ha...

^ :biggrin:
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

Due to personal reasons, I will be saying “Aye” and “Arrrggggh” instead of yes and no from now on.

Please respect my piracy at this difficult time. :biggrin:

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

I gave my handyman a list of 5 things to do. When I got home only 1, 3 and 5 were done. I asked him why, and he said "I only do odd jobs."

I went to a gender reveal party. Everyone else was dressed...

joke-money-not-a-gas-jpeg.

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What are three two-letter words that mean "small"??
"Is.... It..... In???"

^ :biggrin:
My doctor gave me three months to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved! :mad:

Divorced Barbie--she comes with all of Kens things.

https://www.amazon.nl/Dark-Side-Spoon-Rock-Cookbook/dp/17862...

A priest in a mask just threw some holy water at me.

A bit odd I know, but I think it’s a blessing in disguise.

The reason Barbie never got pregnant is Ken comes in another box.