World's Second Worst Joke:

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?



The picture can be hung with just 1 nail.

Time for some bad saddam jokes now :P

HAHAHA! I love cartoons.

ha!
somebody forgot,
21. You don't get a hangover from Vagina. Point: Vagina
and
16. should read, There are far more kinds of vagina than beer. Point: Vagina
[so beer loses a point and vagina gains it!: 10-10]

now for the tie breaker . . .
22. I don't drink beer, therefore, by rights more vagina for me! Pont: Vagina.

and by that scoring, Vagina wins by a hair!

Beer doesn't get you babies. beer doesn't spend piles of money on preventing the coming of them. Beer doesn't want you to be sterilised.

Also, if the wife comes over, the beer will have no problems hiding in the fridge.

A man walks into a sex shop and asks for a black condom.

-Well Sir, we have blue condoms, pink condoms, yellow condoms, purple condoms, gold condoms, silver condoms, red condoms, orange condoms, lubricated consoms, rough-cut condoms, smooth condoms, libbed condoms, peppermint flavoured condoms, spearmint flavoured condoms, strawberry flavoured condoms, chocolate flavoured condoms, striped condoms, polka dot condoms, party condoms, French tickler condoms...

But we don't have any black ones in stock. I could order them but it will take some time.

-Oh. I need one today. The husband of my mistress has just died and I want to pay her my condoleances.

Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A: A Chopin Liszt.

you re punished for deeplinking :biggrin:?

A man walks into a bar and spots someone who is slamming tequilas. He watches him for a while, sees him walk out, go to a nearby church tower, climb to the top, jump off and walk back to the cafe.
"How did you do that?"
"Well, whenever I drink tequila, it's like time runs much slower."
The man decides to try it for himself. He has several tequilas, climbs up the church tower, and falls to his death.

Barman: "You're such a dick when you're drunk, Superman."

What's the difference between Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven, the Germans are the bureaucrats, the English are the cops, and the French are the cooks.

In Hell, the French are the bureaucrats, the Germans are the cops, and the English are the cooks.

(If you're offended by this, I heard it from a Brit.)

This is a commercial that could easily be a joke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RbG1jHewWw

It is, and I had heard it before.

Two men are walking in a field.

"You see that tree over there? That's where I lost my virginity."

"Really? Tell me more!"

"Oh, it was embarrassing! Her mother caught us!

"Ouch! And, what did she say?"

"Baaaaah..."