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Eddie RUKidding
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I asked the Librarian if they had books on paranoia.
She whispered : "They're right behind you".
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Eddie RUKidding
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For sale: second hand theremin - as good as new, never even touched it. 
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Eddie RUKidding
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I've just been hired at the local boat yard and yacht store.
They made me the sails manager. :0
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Eddie RUKidding
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Last night a man was hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a French horn.
Police say it was an orchestrated attack. 
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Eddie RUKidding
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I'm teed off that I lost my job at the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off!
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Eddie RUKidding
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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time consuming , especially if you go for seconds......
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Eddie RUKidding
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If you're considering becoming a meteorologist, you have to decide weather or not...
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Eddie RUKidding
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A pirate with a steering wheel on his crotch walks into a bar and orders a pint of grog.
Bartender says, "Why certainly sir, but...did you notice you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
Pirate says, "Arghhh, and it be drivin' me nuts!"
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Eddie RUKidding
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I nearly went overboard, but luckily I fell into some fish boxes on the deck.
There but for the crates of cod...
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Plook
You Are What You Is
Posts: 757
Registered: 11-7-2022
Member Is Offline
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What's the best Christmas present?
A broken drum; you just can't beat it!
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Eddie RUKidding
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What do you call Santa without a GPS?
A lost Claus.
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Plook
You Are What You Is
Posts: 757
Registered: 11-7-2022
Member Is Offline
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How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
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Eddie RUKidding
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I recently got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuza mixed up.
I’m now in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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Eddie RUKidding
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I've considered stealing mirrors from a mirror shop.
That's something I could see myself doing.
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Plook
You Are What You Is
Posts: 757
Registered: 11-7-2022
Member Is Offline
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
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Eddie RUKidding
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I quit my job at the helium factory. I wasn't gonna be spoken to in that tone of voice....
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Eddie RUKidding
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I made my wife's dreams come true and we got married in a castle.
But you wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around. 
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Eddie RUKidding
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My new years resolution is to stop using spray deodorant... Roll on next year
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Eddie RUKidding
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Does this mean the Trump will have to return his FIFA peace prize?
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8393
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Men are from Mars, except for Dutch men...
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