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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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"Hon, I thought you had a lodge meeting today." "Nah, it got postponed. The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate's wife wanted him to mow the
lawn!"
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Performance Appraisal Terms (And Their Real Meanings): "Great Presentation Skills." (Able to bullshit.) "Good Communication Skills." (Spends all day
on the phone.) "Average Employee." (Not too bright.) "Exceptionally Well Qualified." (Made no major blunders yet.) "Work is First Priority." (Too ugly
to get a date.) "Active Socially." (Drinks a lot.) "Family Active Socially." (Spouse drinks, too.) "Independent Worker." (Nobody knows what he does.)
"Quick Thinker." (Offers plausible excuses.) "Careful Thinker." (Won't make a decision.) "Aggressive." (Obnoxious.) "Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs."
(Gets someone else to do it.) "Expresses Self Well." (Speaks English.) "Meticulous Attention To Detail." (Nitpicker.) "Has Leadership Qualities."
(Tall with loud voice.) "Exceptionally Judgment." (Lucky.) "Keen Sense Of Humor." (Knows lots of dirty jokes.) "Career Minded." (Back Stabber.)
"Loyal." (Can't get a job anywhere else.)
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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My neighbor got mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. Personally, I'm on the fence.
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GrayGhost
Frank Zappa Status
Posts: 1303
Registered: 11-7-2022
Location: Under the Light of the Silvery Moon.....
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptically Optimistic.....
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GrayGhost
Frank Zappa Status
Posts: 1303
Registered: 11-7-2022
Location: Under the Light of the Silvery Moon.....
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptically Optimistic.....
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Husband: "When I die, I want to die having sex." Wife: "At least it'll be quick."
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AGuyWithAWrench
200 Motels Status
Posts: 99
Registered: 15-7-2022
Member Is Offline
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Holder of the record for MLB players with the most body parts making up their name
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Two artists challenged each other to a contest. It was a draw.
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GrayGhost
Frank Zappa Status
Posts: 1303
Registered: 11-7-2022
Location: Under the Light of the Silvery Moon.....
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptically Optimistic.....
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^^^^^ Pretty sketchy ^^^^^
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GrayGhost
Frank Zappa Status
Posts: 1303
Registered: 11-7-2022
Location: Under the Light of the Silvery Moon.....
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptically Optimistic.....
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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My ex-girlfriend just phoned to tell me she wants to get back together again. Man, am I lucky! First I win the lottery, and now this!
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Give a man an airplane ticket and he'll fly for a day. But push him out of an airplane and he'll fly for the rest of his life!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's apparent.
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polydigm
King Kong Status
Posts: 2166
Registered: 1-4-2006
Location: Horse Tray Ya
Member Is Offline
Mood: Inspired
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A dad joke? That one’s a bit dark.
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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That was 2 jokes in one post, dear.
I'm mad because I can't remember how to write the numbers 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals. Yes: IM LIVID!
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Calvin
Apostrophe Status
Posts: 113
Registered: 20-8-2006
Location: Neebraskey
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
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Whenever I'm down, my wife puts her hand on my shoulder and says "Earth".
It means the world to me.
Hi there.
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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My vegan friend's status said, "Iif you had to kill your own food, you wouldn't eat meat." I told him, "if you had to build your own computer, you
wouldn't whine on Facebook!"
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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Every woman's dream is to meet a man who will look deep into her eyes, take her in his arms, carry her off to bed, and then clean the house while she
naps.
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jimmied
Freak Out! Status
Posts: 16
Registered: 11-7-2022
Member Is Offline
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"I make music because it's the same as going to the toilet." - FZ
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BBP
Super Administrator
Posts: 8053
Registered: 3-10-2005
Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cheerful yet relaxed
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"You have the right to remain silent…" "Impossible, officer. I'm vegan!"
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Calvin
Apostrophe Status
Posts: 113
Registered: 20-8-2006
Location: Neebraskey
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
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My wife and I were going to see Oppenheimer last night, but we realized we were hungry and the movie is 3 hours.
So we joined the Barbie queue.
Hi there.
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