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scallopino
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Movies that suck immensely
Here's a few I've seen recently to get us going:
The Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Kate Winslet. The rest of the family watched it while we were at the grandparents. It's about the
above stars swapping houses with people in different countries for confusing reasons and ending up with other people, or something. This is a low
point of the chick flick genre, and that's pretty low.
Like Mike, starring "Li'l Bow Bow" and the guy who played Mr McFly in the Back to the Future movies. It's about a kid who finds magic shoes that allow
him to.. wait for it... make the NBA at the age of about 11, for a fictional team called the "LA Knights".
Snow Dogs, featuring a bunch of snow dogs and Cuba Gooding Jr. It wasn't funny, dramatic, interesting or informative. What was it? Lame.
Fire away!
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polydigm
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| Quote: | | Originally posted by scallopino: Like Mike, starring "Li'l Bow Bow" and the guy who played Mr McFly in the Back to the Future movies. It's
about a kid who finds magic shoes that allow him to.. wait for it... make the NBA at the age of about 11, for a fictional team called the "LA
Knights". |
I watched this with my kids and we all kind of enjoyed it, so it's hard to be objective.
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scallopino
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Haha! You're much more tolerant than me Poly. But what about the bit when the main basketball guy offers to adopt Lil Bow Bow at the end, and it takes
about four minutes for him to realise what the guy is saying?
Are there any movies you don't like?
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BBP
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Of all the movies I've ever seen fragments of, the worst one is undoubtedly Baby Geniuses.
It was recently aired on TV and I missed it, which may be a good thing. Considering I struggled to sit out 20 minutes.
Why did I sit out so many minutes if it sucked? I like not to zap at comedies until I hear the first joke.
The joke that made me zap, was when a plumber was assisted in unbugging a sink by two babies. He asked one of them to hand him a wrench, at which one
of the babies tosses him a wrench in the groin. After an ouch, he lectures on the tosser that he didn't ask for the thing baby threw, but for
something similar yet totally different.
Other REAL Bad movies I've attempted to sit through, or actually sat through:
-Winnie the Pooh
-Oliver & Co
-musical film Phantom of the Opera. If you have a part requesting a "gorgeous and brilliantly singing young woman" you don't pick a child version of
Yoko Ono.
-the BS Crossroads
-Global Heresy. If the phrase "I have something to explain to you" appears three times in five minutes, you have a serious scriptwriting problem.
-Tomorrow Never Dies. I never thought I'd fall asleep at James Bond.
-Bram Stoker's Dracula. Why the name Bram Stoker is attachedd is a mystery. It barely relates to the book. And if you want to include a lot of sex,
make a porn flick, rather than turn the two smart modest ladies from the book into cheating nymphomaniacs.
-What Dreams May Come. Looks ace, but real bad jokes (a bird shits on Robin Williams's head) and overly Christian themes make this film a drag.
-Final Destination 2. Only FD I fell asleep at. Really. Nothing but annoying twerps in the cast, combined with a predictable love scene and impossible
special effects ruins everything that made FD1 so cool.
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scallopino
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I've decided that movie trailers are totally unreliable. Often some trailers make you really want to see the movie, and then you do, and you think:
geez, why couldn't they make it more like the trailer? And other times you'll see trailers that make the movie look totally shit and the movie turns
out to be great (the latest Batman for example).
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DED
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Normally there are 3 possible ways
They who do
They who maybe do
They that don't do
If you make a trailer yoy dont do it for people who definitely won't come or people that come for sure.
The trailer is made for the group in the middle. After seeing the movie part of that middlegroup is happy that they came, the other part regrets.
In Music and politics it is the same. Think of the musical difference in albums (for the dedicated) and singles for the mass (money)
Some times the reason why the film is dissapointing is that the trailer (and parts of the movie shown in movieshows) are distroying the story, because
you have seen them before.
The best trailers however bring people to the cinema who would not come without the trailer. The fact that they can be dissapointed is not important,
they have been (and bought the ticket)
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Badchild
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The latest Asterix Movie (what a fucking waste of time and money).
a thing called "Steak". if you see this in the dvd rental place, run away fast....
However, Black Sheep is a must see!
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BBP
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They messed up on Asterix? Too bad... I loved Contre Caesar, and Cleopatra was OK. Except for all the anachronisms. Anachronisms are NOT FUNNY!
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scallopino
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Anachronisms would be funny if they did the other way around: for example, James Bond pulling out a stone axe.
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scallopino
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Here's a piece of crap: "The Neptune Factor", from 1973. Frank would have loved this movie. It has cheepnis in spades. Somehow, some scientific
research centre ends up on the bottom of the ocean, and a little sub is sent down to rescue the crew members. On their way down they see some
monstrously enormous sea animals. This would be frightening IF THEY DIDN'T FILM IT IN A FISH TANK USING REGULAR AQUARIUM FISH!!!! That's right! They
just used aquarium fish but made them look huge by doing close ups and filming a tiny plastic model submarine in a fish tank!
There are some absolutely classic lines throughout, such as "Jesus Christ, it's going to RAM US!" before cutting to a sea bass! It's truly hilarious.
Anyway, they manage to find the research thing and "rescue" the crew, but only before managing to escape some harmless eels, who are not even chasing
them.
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BBP
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The movie couldn't possibly be funnier than your explanation... Bad special effects really can piss me off, like in The Spy Who Loved Me with the
2-inch-tall Atlantis.
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punknaynowned
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| Quote: | Originally posted by scallopino
Anachronisms would be funny if they did the other way around: for example, James Bond pulling out a stone axe. |
yes scallopino!
that's an archaism!
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scallopino
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Does archaism = reverse anachronism?
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BBP
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Archaism: (Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary) 1 An archaic word or expression. 2 the use or copying of what is
archaic, esp in language and art.
Archaic: 1 very oldfashioned 2 no longer in current use 3 of a much earlier or an ancient period in
history.
Anachronism: a person, institution or idea that is old-fashioned, or the placing of sth in the wrong time period.
An anachronism works in both directions, an archaism only in one.
Archaisms can indeed be funny, especially when you're reading something from an earlier time period. Like old comic books or fashion
books/magazines.
[Edited on 10-4-08 by BBP]
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punknaynowned
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hahahhahahaa!!!
arkay (phoenetic sounding of the term because I can't find the font here for real greek)
shown in greek letters is 4 characters as a 1st person singular, nominative noun that looks like this:
apXn
but isn't quite. No worries though as the word itself is ancient greek (found in Homer) as origin or first cause, a beginning.
But it gained a meaning through greek of being a head, or top, 'chief', in sense.
The Romans took this, and of course, couldn't quite copy the greek language as the greek's taught them, changed it a bit to mean a citadel, a
stronghold, fortress. But in its strictest sense meant THE ARX, on the Capitoline hill in Rome, the holiest of holy temples to Zeus; so it became
understood as the chief stronghold in any city. Much later still, it became recognised that these biggest remaining monuments, basilicas oftentimes
had soaring huge arches, massive curves that stretched as high as seemed possible, of marble and stone. The latin arcus as used by Vergil and Ovid
meant just such curves, like a rainbow's, or the paralell zones round the earth
(:
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BBP
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How fascinating!
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punknaynowned
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woops!
Troy (with Brad Pitt) and Gladiator (with Russel Crowe)
suck immensely
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scallopino
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| Quote: | Originally posted by punknaynowned
hahahhahahaa!!!
arkay (phoenetic sounding of the term because I can't find the font here for real greek)
shown in greek letters is 4 characters as a 1st person singular, nominative noun that looks like this:
apXn
but isn't quite. No worries though as the word itself is ancient greek (found in Homer) as origin or first cause, a beginning.
But it gained a meaning through greek of being a head, or top, 'chief', in sense.
The Romans took this, and of course, couldn't quite copy the greek language as the greek's taught them, changed it a bit to mean a citadel, a
stronghold, fortress. But in its strictest sense meant THE ARX, on the Capitoline hill in Rome, the holiest of holy temples to Zeus; so it became
understood as the chief stronghold in any city. Much later still, it became recognised that these biggest remaining monuments, basilicas oftentimes
had soaring huge arches, massive curves that stretched as high as seemed possible, of marble and stone. The latin arcus as used by Vergil and Ovid
meant just such curves, like a rainbow's, or the paralell zones round the earth
(: |
So "arch" and "archaic" come from the same place?
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punknaynowned
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etymologically
not temporally
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BBP
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To the list of films that suck immensely, I'd like to add
10 Things I Hate About You. The best thing about it is the title.
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