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Author: Subject: Movies that suck immensely
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[*] posted on 8-8-2008 at 17:00


Only saw a segment of it in history class, during the introduction week when some historical movies were discussed (among them Barry Lyndon, The Longest Day, and Blackadder (1st series)). Apparently historically it kind of blows.

Gladiators fought naked in those days. That would make a great movie!!




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[*] posted on 9-8-2008 at 03:27


I guess when you watch it the first time within some kind of analytical framework like that it kind of affects you every other time you see it. If I knew it wasn't historically accurate I probably wouldn't have liked it as much.



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[*] posted on 9-8-2008 at 13:49


That for me also goes for "laws of nature". No more action films for me!



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[*] posted on 12-11-2008 at 19:28


Today I nearly sat through the Emperor's New Groove. Disney only turns to anachronisms for its laughs. Baah.



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[*] posted on 28-12-2008 at 16:52


On Christmas I sat through Mad Money, something about three women who work for a bank in Kansas that destroys money, and who decide to rob a lot of it.

And a day after I sat through Muppets Treasure Island, with a lot of failing jokes and nasty songs, but fortunately with Tim Curry.




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[*] posted on 29-12-2008 at 06:51


I remember going to see that Muppet movie when I was little. I think my grandmother took me and my sister.



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[*] posted on 29-12-2008 at 07:07


Mamma Mia. My wife rented it the other night, and after ten minutes I was ready to stick knitting needles in my eyes just to get out of watching the rest of it.
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[*] posted on 29-12-2008 at 09:41


Quote:
Originally posted by MTF
Mamma Mia. My wife rented it the other night, and after ten minutes I was ready to stick knitting needles in my eyes just to get out of watching the rest of it.


I would rather eat my own shitthan watch that....




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[*] posted on 29-12-2008 at 12:13


Poor MTF! Are you still married?



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[*] posted on 30-12-2008 at 08:22


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Poor MTF! Are you still married?

Yes. In fact, our sixteenth anniversary is Wednesday (yes: New Year's Eve).

She puts up with my shit, so I think it's only fair that I tolerate her bad taste in movies.
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[*] posted on 30-12-2008 at 09:17


Fair enough. I would never go near that movie. Apart from the general idea of it, I really can't stand Pierce Brosnan as a human being. What do you think of Abba in general MTF? I rather like them...but I remember that Bonny does not.



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[*] posted on 30-12-2008 at 09:22


What's wrong with Pierce Brosnan then?



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[*] posted on 30-12-2008 at 10:34


I never really liked him anyway, but then this started to get played on tv non-stop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14XWoZeuwK0&feature=related




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[*] posted on 31-12-2008 at 08:06


After watching the dutch movies "night of the wild donkeys" and "an Amsterdam tale" I wonder if the Dutch should make movies.



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[*] posted on 31-12-2008 at 09:17


Karakter fortunately disproved that. I believe in most countries the good-film-bad-film ratio is very low.



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[*] posted on 7-7-2009 at 15:19


So until today I would have illustrated how big my Tim Curry-fanhood is by saying: "I sat through Barbie and The Nutcracker for Tim Curry!"
But now I'd say: "I sat through Scary Movie 2 for Tim Curry!" Good God. How could ANYONE see that script and then want to have anything to do with it?




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[*] posted on 22-11-2009 at 18:44


I sat through the first 40 minutes of "4 Dogs Playing Poker", again for Tim Curry. My recent art knowledge butchered it slightly, when I noticed the Degas statuette they were stealing was obviously fake (wrong height and wearing a skirt). Plus there was also a Rembrandt in the room, which they left there.

But that was not my first beef with it. That was when one of Curry's first lines: "If you drop that ice statue I will slay your first-born!" was translated to "...I will castrate you on the spot!"

Also troublesome was witnessing Curry's character (I think he was called Felix. I didn't even bother to remember the names of the 4 main characters) WRAPPING THE STOLEN DEGAS IN A NEWSPAPER... ON THE STREET where everyone could see it.
Then he put the flimsy wrapped statue on the crate at the loading point of the boat, talked some to the guy dealing with shipments, then WENT AWAY, then DISCOVERED the statuette was gone, then SIGNED for having handed it over. :yawn:

During a nasty confrontation with the people who gave out the assignment, he was shot, and for some reason we had to witness how his wound was dealt with. :regan:

And then, when he was hung and his legs were cut off, there was no more fun in it for me. I couldn't care less about the real bad lines and about the characters (I only knew the name of one of the four main ones) so I saved myself an hour and switched it off. Gawd.




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[*] posted on 4-1-2010 at 19:50


OK, that's it... I'll have to be careful with the Curry now.
Today I watched Barbie and the Three Musketeers. It ranks below Nutcracker.

Why? Well... let's list the pluses:
-Tim Curry. Great to see he has a good-looking character, and his acting was not bad (although he did seem to wonder what happened to him to deserve that role)
-Rotoscope animation of human characters was quite good
-Halfway I was treated to an instrumental of EMF's Unbelievable, a song with a riff I adore.

Minuses:
-Hideous songs
-EMF's Unbelievable returned towards the end... in a "girlie" edition, changing the lyrics from bad-girlfriend-bashing to GRRL POWER.
-Although the human movements were realistic, the physical "acting", particularly of the female characters, is far from it. The main characters often look like they're working out with Jane Fonda.
-Bad colour scheme, overly bright and huge slabs of one colour, making grassy fields look like sheets of paper.
-Animation of animals is very poor. The cat, horse and dog are often walking seemingly in thin air.
-Items defy the laws of nature. Particularly the shattered glass of the chandelier and the weapons of the ladies. Deadly fans and ribbons look even more curious than they sound, particularly when swords fail to cut through them.
-While Nutcracker had some terrific dialogue, the jokes in Musketeers are limited to Mus-CAT-teers (as outed by Barbie's pet cat) repeated several times. The "bad guy"'s only sneer at Barbie is when he refers to her as "Blondie".
-Anachronisms... An Disneyland castle in Paris... gee. The Kung Fu Athletic Fighting... list is endless.




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[*] posted on 17-2-2010 at 08:24


Tried to watch 4 Dogs Playing Poker again, since I have all the time of the world now. I got about one scene further. Man it's awful!



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[*] posted on 17-2-2010 at 17:26


Finished it today. Now to make a continuation of the problems:

There seem to have been multiple writers at play, and it shows. One has any character cursing like a blue streak, primarily using the F-word to a ridiculous degree.
Another one is trying to get "in depth". This one even puts in a little silly love scene, and a drooly ending. It doesn't work, since the film is essentially character-less, all the actors are portraying puppets. Getting "meaningful close-ups" doesn't work without any characters.
Part of the lack of characters is in the bad writing: character have no past, no relations, nothing. It's also partly because of the bad acting, by any of the major characters.
There's disturbing discontinuity: eg although Curry plays an obvious Brit and has to travel BA to correspond with his nationality, his passport says he's American, born in the US, and residing in the US.
The eventual "climax" scene has a moving corpse without cause, reason or logic.

Whew, now that that is out of my system...




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